Life after death

Life after death

We never want to die, but life after death indeed is more exciting!

‘Susant sir, how are you?’ nurse came to me in hospital. ‘Fine’ was
all I could say. I never imagined that it would be nurse who would
come to see me during such critical position. I had to struggle really
hard and go through such tough times after the death of my sweetest
wife Keshari. It was just me alone who worked entire day with enough
time for my only son, Ashim. From combing his hair to preparing his
tie, it was my entire task. I always had to take Ashim to his school
and only then I could go to my work place. Trying to play role of both
mother and father was certainly not so easy.

M y boss never understood that and getting scolded as kind of regular.
My moral responsibility never allowed me to go with my friends, get
drunk, just because of my son Ashim. He was only the symbol that
reminded me of Keshari. Teaching in expensive school was challenging
but I managed it through the minimization of my personal expenses. It
was hat I kept on getting offer for second marriage time and again,
but how can I betray Keshari? I never waned to share my love. I was
the happiest person when Ashim came up with distinction marks in SLC,
and now he was ready for the college. I sold my jwellery to teach him
then. His demand for bike was fulfilled through the loan that I took
from my office’s budget. His studies were my entire mission. I never
failed to fulfill his wishes, nor did he ever complain about his
mother seriously.

With the passing of time, his plus two completed. All I wanted to make
him was a doctor, but his mission was for fashion designing, however
he spent year to try for scholarship from Ministry to POKIHS, but
could not achieve and thus the decision was made for Ashim to send US
for Fashion Designing. My old age could now not ask for any loans, nor
could I work extra. So all I could do is mortgage the precious house
to send him abroad. After receiving the visa, I told Ashim entire
story of past, my struggles for him, my sacrifice for him and reminded
him that I would be no where if I could not repay the loan.

‘Don’t worry baba! It’s now my turn! I won’t let my childhood memories
filled house go away!’ was his statement once again a Airport.

**

Five years passed! Ashim, my son is gradually getting virtual for me.
His phone call excites me, but he always shows me that he is in
financial crisis. ‘Let’s see’ will be his reply whenever I ask him
when he will be back. Loan of twenty lakhs with monthly installment of
twenty thousand was getting burden for me. Ashim showed no sign of
returning back, but I was all alone. My retired job would provide me
pension of six thousand that would be little less than enough to feed
myself, pay the bills. Facebook was the time passing way, and a
notification nearly gave me heart attack that said ‘Ashim is in
relationship with Anna Stephen’. It was his life, what could I do? My
old age now doesn’t possess any strength to quarrel with him, but I
could never imagine someone Anna-my daughter in law! Once on my way, I
met his friend Anil who was his childhood friend and was in US as
well. I don’t remember what he said much but…’Uncle, Ashim is happy
there! He now owns house in New York’, nearly gave me second heart
attack. Mentally disturbed, physically ill, since I had some breathing
problems troubled me for couple of days and I finally called him to
ask about the issue. Although he tried to rotate the topic; but my
determination compelled him to speak. ‘Dad! I am settling here, now
you sell that house and say in rent that would rather be appropriate’.
I could hear female voice ‘Oh! What the hell are you doing, hurry
up!’. I now could not resist and kept the phone. My son, whose hair I
had to comb, is now teaching me appropriate way. My son, for whom I
compromised thousand things for his single wish could not manage to
fulfill my single wish for my house. Tears never rolled like this
before. “Keshari, why are you smiling? Didn’t you hear what our son
said?’

‘What about your memories Ashim?’ I dialed again.

‘Memories are to be created, not stuck with!’

‘You got married?’ I asked.

‘No but maybe in couple of months we will, Anna is nice girl’.

‘So will you be back and then?’

‘Oh! Come on! Why should I? Fashion Designing has got no scope in Nepal’.

Enough! I kept my phone. I now wanted to marry, but who will? I am
already sixty. My power is gradually going low. I don’t have anyone to
take care of me.

**

It was the day of my son’s marriage. He never told me but being
father, I always kept my indirect contact with him. My legs movement
took me somewhere where I have never been. I probably was walking in
hallucination. My mind was thinking all about Ashim…I can see him…He
must be in black suit…not in Daura Surwal…He is in…in church…not
temple…Oh! There is father? So who am I? He has got the ring that he
will be putting in Anna’s finger…I can hear his new father chanting ‘I
now declare you man an..n..d..’ BANG!!

**

‘Susant sir, how are you?’ nurse came to me in hospital. ‘Fine was all
I could say!’. ‘Sir, you were walking alone on the road when the taxi
hit you. It was the greatness of taxi driver who brought you here, Can
you give me contact of any of your relatives to call?’. ‘Ashi..Oh! No!
I don’t have anyone, What’s the issue? ‘.

‘Sir you need an operation.’

‘That’s fine, but what is wrong with me?’, I didn’t want to die
anyway. ‘How much does it cost?’

‘Around eighty thousand.’

Two days late, I brought the amount begging further loan. Nurse advised
me to sign the letter that had written..’I will be responsible for
death if occurred at the time of operation..’ Death? Is it that risky?
I asked nurse, ‘Not so much, but you never know what can happen.’ I
then thought of writing something for son.

Dear Ashim, I am going through operation. I did not want to inform you
so that you could spend your honeymoon peacefully. If I die, the house
will legally be yours, if you feel like saving it, else you do what so
ever you feel like. I am happy, your mother will certainly not curse
me. I don’t have any criticisms or complain regarding you. I am sorry,
I could not hand you any property. I hope I will not die through this
operation, but If I, do live your life happily. My blessings as always
with you!

I handed it to nurse and gave her Ashim’s address. An injection was
all I remember then, I was lying on bed with the silent fan above.

**

I can feel this! I am dead, but I see the changing world. I don’t
know where I am. Maybe top of them from where I can see everything. I
can see my son crying in my home and Anna in the party in US from here
itself. I can listen to Ashim’s voice asking for forgiveness and can
even read his mind and heart. ‘Oh! How long should I see them? Where
is my place now? This probably is the way. Okay let me move ahead…’

Wow! I am in new world! World of dead people! Everyone is young and
enjoying! There is no boundry of caste, creeds or country. No pride of
money! Everything is free here. ‘Excuse me’, I asked to person there.
‘Are you new?’ he asked. I nodded and then he took me to another zone.
After asking everything, he told me that I can see the world from
here, enjoy throughout day, travel wherever I want and meet any dead
peoples. He even warned me not to terrorize people in the Earth being
ghost. Why should I? I felt, we never want to die, but life after
death is more exciting! I am all set to search my wife-Keshari now!

Special Thanks to: Susant Neupane and Anil Bhetwal.

Brain vs. Heart

Brain vs Heart

There’s a battle going: brain vs. heart Swaroop is confused. He has no idea regarding what to do now. After  going through various stages, after making several firm decisions; he still lacks the idea regarding where next to step.

It was three years ago, when Swaroop purposed Nanu after knowing her for a year .friendship moved to best friend and Nanu finally accepted Swaroop after three months of his proposal with the fear that she might lose him. Beginning of 2007 they got into relation for the first time. Both were excited and  nervous at the same time. Swaroop had a long vision almost till their death .yes; it was the same as most of the other couples today have...Studies, marriage, honeymoon, children and again their names, future e.t.c.

The fresh relation was again gifted by February: the season of love. It was definitely somewhat to be in relation while being in their teens. Dating then came up with “limited romance” they wanted to study together as they were from different colleges .so they joined tuition classes .the relation was moving ahead .both really loved each other.

Swaroop was a jealous guy. he never wanted Nanu to talk with any other guys nor did he allowed her to wear miniskirts also Nanu never went against his wishes and he also implemented that in himself . This didn’t ever gave Nanu to suspect on him .Swaroop was an average student ,and Nanu was somewhat below average, and she was always suggested to study hard .

“You must study hard at least for me and for our future”

“I am trying, but I really don’t understand final accounts”

“Maybe I can help you! I have got exams ….but still can you meet me at library today?”

“It’s difficult, my family already doubts on me….but still I’ll try to come”

“I’ll be waiting for you this noon hai?”

Swaroop spent his studying time for her studies as well, and he cared for her equally.

“You didn’t go to college today?”

“Yap I wasn’t feeling well today “

“Hey! What happened?”

“It was the first day of periods and I had huge stomach pain”

“I don’t understand girl’s problem….but take proper care and cover your missed classes”

And the time was moving, when the board of eleven came and went .they even celebrated their anniversary with the confusion whether to regard proposal date or acceptance date. The day was disappointing when Nanu failed in the board exam of eleven and Swaroop just managed to step on the first division. Swaroop’s disappointment and motivating words compelled Nanu to grow serious and study better. And then grade twelve went perfectly for them with various angerness. Swaroop was really stupid as he tried to take over his girl .he never allowed Nanu to do things he didn’t liked and Nanu never allowed him to smoke either, everything was fine till the end of their twelfth grade.

After twelve, they had to go through “distance relation” as Swaroop had to go far from her. Everything was fine till then. Because Nanu had given her words to be there some time later. They had to go through various stages in giving equal respect to distance relationship. Later Nanu reached Delhi and both were together again.

But within few weeks Nanu had to suffer home sickness and she had to return back. And college would not readmit her as she missed a month of her class. She lost a year, Swaroop always gave her ways of utilizing her time by doing guitar classes, or vocal or computer classes...But no one knows what appened to her she ignored his words and started raising questions to him, day by day distance between them grew and time and again they started having rows and dissatisfaction grew between them. But they couldn’t do anything either even in those stages Swaroop used to call her and ask her if he could drink amidst his friends in any parties he went….she told him to stay in limit even if he had to drink...

Nanu also asked him if she could have a haircut” you like me in this hair cut but my sister is compelling me to have a haircut ….what to do?”

“Yea it’s for sure been long and seems like ends are getting frizzy”

Since the relation was getting weak, they couldn’t even manage to celebrate their third anniversary. For simple reasons they quarreled and broke up within an hour. Both were confident that they will again be together within few days as they had similar experiences before as well. Two day’s later Swaroop tried to call Nanu, but her cell was switched off as well and then Nanu tried to call and again Swaroop’s cell was off. Both wanted to say sorry but luck didn’t favor them and ten days later they finally realized that they had seriously broken up.

Swaroop then changed. he thought love doesn’t exist .he used to say “children love their parents with the greed of getting their care, friends love with the hope to get support, spouse love his or her partner to share things and body and hence there doesn’t exist anything called love in real” he was trying to forget her. Although both study at Delhi today but they don’t talk, meet or even care though. They still have affection for each other. Both still respect each other but fear to talk as well.

Six months of breakup, Swaroop ultimately realized he is getting close with Rani and found out he shared a lot of feelings with her. He never calls Nanu a betrayer .after telling entire story with tears he asks Rani, but she could not give satisfactory answer as well. His vision regarding love is again changed...He has started loving Rani...but with the fear of past he could not manage to propose her and Rani as well says she needs time for relationship. Swaroop has no idea regarding Rani’s feeling, her vision but the battle between brain and heart goes on within Swaroop “Are you again trying to be fool after a girl?” asks brain

“You need someone after all” says heart

“Will you be able to keep her happy? Or will it be like Nanu’s case?” asks brain

“Leave it in the hand of time; go with Rani” says heart

“Again quarrel, pains…are you ready?” asks brain

“You are capable to manage it and Rani is of your type” answers heart.

“What if you broke up with her again? It is better to be friends than to end it with her like that with Nanu...”says brain

Again brain asks” you betrayed Nanu, can you guarantee that you can cope with Rani?”

Heart replies “you still respect Nanu and you have not betrayed, you broke up with mutual understanding”

“Whatever! You left her” says brain

“Does that mean that you should never search a girl for you? Are you going to spend your life all alone? Asks heart and the discussion goes on between heart and brain. Swaroop could not make a decision.