Life is not all about one particular satisfaction. You may be a good football player, but if you don’t earn that would never satisfy you. Passion is a very strong emotion, but your passion itself should not be your entire missions. Your passion can pay you, make you renowned, but you have other various responsibilities and duties. A guitarist will ignore his concert if his father is in hospital. You can live your life as per your wish, as per your desire but you have the moral compulsion to stay alert if your lifestyle is disturbing other's normal schedule. For any designer, it would be acceptable till the designer makes designing his passion, but the things would get worse if designing makes you its passion. It is just like you eating the rice or rice eating you. Here is the story of Krishna, and his passion following him.
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Krishna believed that he has got the potentiality to write for the first time when he was in grade eight. 'And the winner of Inter House Essay Writing Competition is….Krishna Maskey of Green House!' This line made Krishna feel his potentiality for the first time in his life. He got the medal and certificate and then began his journey with his pen. Actually, Krishna was middle class family member and an average student in his class. It was for the first time his name was announced in the assembly. My words would certainly fail if I try to describe his situation of that particular moment. His achievement further kissed him year later when he got the second position in Inter School Essay Writing Competition. This made him feel that he can really go ahead. His parents were supportive and hence they subscribed every English newspaper at home. One must certainly read more in order to write well. His reading habit finally made him write on newspapers. Beginning from School Posts, by the time he reached grade ten he became a good comment writer at various National English newspapers. Krishna Maskey was a popular and regular name. It was at least twice a week he wrote in the 'Letter to the Editor' section of every English newspapers. He was now able to understand politics and the things going on. With the passage of time, he gave his SLC well. He now began reading various novels, various articles in this gap. He continued writing comments and even engaged in readings. Since he was the only son, his every demand of reading materials was supplied to him in time. His SLC result went fine and his writing level got promoted gradually. He started writing mini writings as well and by the time his high school got over he was a popular freelance writer. No one could raise a question against his writings. His freelance writing kissed the success peak and he got feature writing section in National newspaper and by this he could earn of his own. His high school got over and he chooses engineering line. No matter which stream he belonged to, he could never give up writing. He had already been popular in towns and cities of the country and like players and singers he turned youth icon in literary world. People and specially youth started purchasing newspapers and magazines simply to read his writings. Writing became drugs for him that he could not easily quit of. Man never gets satisfied with what he has and always seeks for something more and this is what has been actually explained by Maslow's Law and such thing is nothing abnormal. Krishna's eyes now had broad vision and his eyes now were seeking for International magazines and newspapers. It was challenging task for any young Nepalese of twenty two to publish his writings on International papers like New Your Times, Times of India, but he never stopped trying. He read more, more and more, which helped in his domestic writing as well, and by the time he was twenty three he began publishing it in various International newspapers. He again got feature writer's position in International paper as well. This added goodwill for him in his domestic writings and he was getting good position in International Scenario as well. So, Krishna finally became popular not only in his home city, but in entire Nepal and various countries knew him as potential and skilled writer. His writing had a weight that could attract any simple reader. It took him seven years to complete his engineering course and now he joined MBA. An MBA student writing a novel was no way a huge issue, but publishing dozens of novels that had good International market was an issue. He published dozens of novels by the age of thirty.
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Thirty year for male is enough to get married, at least in Nepalese society. Krishna, the icon, the model did not lack any aspects either. From billionaire's dad's eye to minister…they wanted to make him son in law. He had not any strong feelings regarding marriage but he always gave first priority to his writings. Earning and living standard life simply by writing was something difficult at least in Nepal, but Krishna's case was a complete different. His MBA degree certificate had no any meaning and value in his life. Summer was hot, monsoon brought flood, winter brought cough and tonsillitis, spring made the garden beautiful but his pen never stopped and his fame was always at peak. Like Indians talk about Sachin, Americans talk about Obama, Argentina's people talk about Messi, Krishna and his writing was always the topic to talk in Nepal for youths and gradually even for old. 'When will Krishna marry?' This was not the question of his friends, but of entire Nepalese. And they finally got the answer. Krishna married at the age of thirty two with the daughter of famous Industrialist. This marriage would not have been possible without the pressure of his parents. Krishna probably thought it a social compulsion to marry. National and International newspapers had the headlines…'Krishna married to Kriti', 'Krishna finally hooked up', 'Young writer no more single'. Yes Krishna was no more single; he now had his wife, Kriti, in his life. Kriti was a simple girl, okay looking, well disciplined and with the degree of MD. It was just for the fortnight his marriage brought disturbance and he could not inject the drugs of writing, and then the process went on as usual. It was his writing that went in usual way, but not his married life. It is not necessary for a good writer to be good husband anyway. Krishna was not intended, but he never realized that he was not being a good husband. Sleeping together doesn’t mean that they are happy. Only after two weeks, under Kriti's proposal both of them broke their virginity on fifteenth night. Kriti had already resigned from the hospital for marriage thinking she will later join with the mutual understanding. Krishna in fact never realized the unemployed state of his wife. Not just this, he did not even talk properly with his wife. It was not intended at all but he never realized that he was troubling his wife mentally. Normally, people regard their family more important than anything, but for Krishna his carrier and hence writing was his main focus. Though, they used to stay in same room almost twenty four seven, but Kriti never got a company to talk because Krishna was always busy with his pen, note and laptop. January 1st 2003 was the date when Kriti got the symptom of pregnancy, and she excitedly said it to Krishna. 'Oh! That's great!' Krishna said and again continued writing. Kriti was not satisfied with his answer because she at least expected a kiss from him, but she consoled herself considering it Krishna's introvert habit. Kriti had every materialistic thing, but she lacked a true friend, her husband. Her husband was just a doll. He was alive, he could be felt, but really lacked any feelings. Kriti needed a talk, a friend but husband's act was making her lonely day after the day. It was not that he never talked to her, but he only talked when necessary as he was always busy and engaged either with his pen and paper or his laptop. No doubt! He was improving his writings and earning huge sum of money, but he really is not realizing the importance, dedication and devotion towards his family. It sounded stupid for Kriti to stay unemployed even with the degree of MD. Kriti was getting lonely day after the day. Krishna loved Kriti, but he never had time to express it. Waking up early and sitting in table with pen and paper, that was everything for Krishna and it was easy for him. But waking up late, sitting silent, helping servants, few talks with mother and father in law and television entire day was the task of Kriti and that was not easy anyway for her. Nine months did not pass easily, and Kriti gave birth to beautiful boy on September 15, 2003. It was the time when she was with her own parents in hospital because Krishna had to go in the opening ceremony of his novel. In fact both had their separate opening ceremony because for every writer their book is regarded their child. Kriti's son got her father's talk only after five days. With huge effort Kriti, Krishna and their newly born son clicked a photo and they hung it in the wall. It was the bad fortune of Maskey family that the newly born child took his last breath on October 1st. Kriti cried a lot, even Krishna felt bad and entire family was feeling sad. Because of Krishna's popularity, Krishna was invited by Times of India for a week package, so that he could be physically seen by India. So, he left Kathmandu for a week in November 20, 2003. Kriti could at least see her husband even if he never cared, but for a week it was sure that Kriti would miss Krishna. Two days later, while cleaning the room Kriti found a diary in Krishna's table. She turned the pages… 1970 April 4 Today is the happiest day. I won Essay Competition! Wow!! I was the hero at assembly. I never thought that I would be so good at writing. Thanks to teacher for providing me this diary. 1970 June 8 I got scolding from teacher just because my homework was incomplete…She could at least give me a chance. Why don’t teachers understand that students can some time have problems? I was regular at other times.. She turned pages, smiled and kept on reading. She knew it was wrong to read someone's diary, but it belonged to her husband and her husband was not someone! She read last notes… November 19, 2003 Tomorrow, I will be leaving India for a week. I have lot of expectations but let's see. I am happy and I will be visiting new place. I will complete my 'Asian Traveling Zone' when I will be back. November 18, 2003 Today, I completed my writing for New York Times, 'America could be opportunity for Asia', and sent it. I also began writing 'Asian Traveling Zone' for next week. My publicity in National Television makes me feel proud. November 17, 2003 Interviewing in television made me nervous, but I don’t think anybody realized it. Started writing: 'America could be Opportunity for Asia'. Checked my postal address and received tickets for my India Trip! Happy!! She now turned page of October 18, 2002, the day of her marriage. November 25, 2002 Kriti…I got married to her. I don’t know why marriage is the must…but okay, I am no more single. Kriti is my wife from today. I could not write anything today. Felt awkward to be 'beula' as everyone were watching me. Kriti now started turning important date's note. January 1, 2003 New Year! From today I will be writing about Fluctuation in Gold Price and its effect in Asia. This will be really long and fit for journal. I wish I had my old friends to celebrate this New Year day. Kriti felt sad because it was the day when she told Krishna the symptom of pregnancy and the last line made her upset. She then turned to the date of birth of child. September 15, 2003 My novel got released today by US Ambassador! Wow! I was the hero of the day. I am really happy. I am scared, but I hope there is not a single mistake for critics to criticize. Kriti now turned to October 1st, day when their son got dead. October 1, 2003 Today my brief interview on New York Times excited me, and my novel's review had a kind of awesome response from International Medias. These were enough. 'Birth and death of our child had no meaning in his life?', 'I am his wife, and I have no place in his diary, I sacrificed everything for him but…', ' I cannot take divorce…but how can I go with him throughout my life', 'He really does not give damn to me', 'For him writing is everything…' She could not think anything and could not decide. All she could do is take rat's poison and drag her to death…a peace zone…and she did that!
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Krishna could not believe his ears when he heard this, he however managed to return back after two days of Kriti's death. Entire Maskey family was in pain. All thought she committed suicide because of the death of her son except Krishna, who found out that someone went through his diary because it lacked leaf and was in different place. Krishna never knew the exact reason of her suicide but he had the clue that there was something in the diary that pinched Kriti but could not figure out that something.
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Maskey family had to go through two deaths simultaneously. Krishna's upset behavior crossed the mark. Kriti's memory began troubling him. It had been month of Kriti's death, but still he was unable to concentrate his mind. Every time he sat down to write, he used to see Kriti in front of him. Even when he was not writing, he could see Kriti lying on the bed, sometimes combing her hair. Hallucination was the real case, but it could not be proved. Months passed and Krishna could not yet concentrate on writing. He could gather ideas in his mind, but could never write. Kriti's hung photo; Kriti, Krishna and their child's photo began troubling Krishna a lot. Kriti was present when he dreamt and even when he woke up. He used to see Kriti giving him food to it even when mother was giving him the food. Kriti…Kriti…Kriti…that was everything now. Considering his mental state, his family decided for the second marriage with the belief that Krishna was in fact missing Kriti and his second marriage would solve the problem they searched another girl Sneha. Sneha was beautiful girl of twenty six, and was studying MBA. She was beautiful, hot and erotic. Krishna could not ignore his family decision and hence they got married. Sneha was totally different from Kriti. She got physical from the very first night and was romantic. No matter how hard, Krishna tried to forget Kriti, he could not. He could neither concentrate on writing, nor could he give proper time to Sneha. Still, every time he sat down to write, Kriti's memory began troubling him. Kriti's image interrupted him at the time of writing. He even tried writing getting drunk. Newly married Sneha could feel his abnormal act and she ran away without any notice. Maybe to her boyfriend if she had…or where? Maskey family had no idea, and they didn’t bother to know either. Sneha's absence never troubled him, but Kriti's image was always interrupting him. Symptom of paranoid schizophrenia could be observed in him. It was matter of worry for entire literature lovers since Krishna's writing was now on halt. Although Krishna made an excuse that he needs a rest, he could not write. His loneliness troubled him and he started acting like mad. Hallucination did not decrease rather increased and he heard Kriti, he now saw Kriti every time and everywhere.
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One fine morning, Krishna was found dead…He was lying with Kriti's photo on his chest. There were two diaries burnt near his body. One probably was the one that Kriti viewed…and the other? No one ever knew…
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SLC: Abbreviation for School Leaving Certificate; One must pass through it in order to study High School in Nepal.
Beula: Nepali word for bridegroom.
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