FEAR

Scary things happen usually at night, when the orange ball gets below the horizon. Not exactly, because streets of Kathmandu are still filled with glory of lights like Deepawali at the time of this winter. Life itself seems in rush, at that specific time.
Kamal an accountant at Lotus Enterprise was in hurry today. It was already eleven and dark outside, and although he was committed to complete it before ten, he still had a piles of files in his table. He would not at all be in such a rush if yesterday's day had not appeared. Yesterday's incident was the main reason for his rush. If only he had not been to the incident of yesterday, he would not be at this rush, but it was already late and he was still hurrying to complete his work.
***
Yesterday,
It was not that Kamal never used to work late night, but it never was till midnight and it was not his time, but since his boss was on holiday trip, he had to look after the financial tasks as well as administrative portion for next two weeks and it was his first day, out of fourteen. Kamal was appointed for the job since he was considered as the most capable and trustworthy ornament of the company, and there was not much possibilities for him to deny as he deserved handsome salary out of it as well, call it a bonus.


So before closing the files, he made sure that everything was perfect and sent an email to his boss, saying he need not to worry about the company as everything was moving perfectly fine. It was already a minute left for mid night. He was not at all at any sort of hurry because since he already had his dinner in the office, he need not to cook after reaching his room all he had to do was to sleep till eight in the moring. So, by next fifteen minutes he locked up the office and handed the key to sleepy watchman. Maybe he had this sleepy attitude, or it could be that he was trying to sleep early since the real boss was not there. Finally the watchman opened the door and he got out. October should not welcome such cold, but it actually did. Maybe it was the midnight cold or if the winter was appearing in real with this symptom.
'Oh! I seriously need a cap...woollen cap', he said to himself after getting out of the gate.
'Not just cap, maybe a jacket....'
'And how can I forget the sugar? I have no sugar to prepare tea tommorow....not tommorow it is today now, it is already 12.30.' He was talking to himself.
'I wish I could get a micro!' But how would he get it at such a time? He could see taxi drivers around, looking at him with the hope if he would provide theam a job atleast. But he was determinded not to pay them. So he rather prefered walking. New Baneshwor probably appears out to be so buzzy during the day time. It feels like there are thousands of people who need to cross road at the evening time, and at that time.....everything was silent, as if the road was in rest as it was tired entire day. His legs were with the movement gradually ahead and he could see the darkness through the street lamp. There were just few dogs in the name of living creatures who stared at his walk.
'I walk this empty street....' he mumbled within him.


He now reached near the Sankhamul bridge, that separates the two districts-Kathmandu and Lalitpur. Everything was 'peaceful'. He remembered how the very same place would be a bazar during entire day.
'This probably is hell at the day.' He told to himself.
'From vegetable vendors, to busy people, they create the noise here in the day time!'
'Over that they burn....' He stopped as he remembered the early times when he used to see dead people on fire while crossing the bridge. This should not have created fear within him, but the speed of the legs slowed down. The sweet shop nearby did not attract his attention, though there were some lights...that they probably kept at around Deepawali. Was his heart beating fast? He didnt care, all he wanted was to cross the bridge quickly although his legs were moving late. It was not that he didnt seek for the alternatives, but it would take him next complete hour to reach his room returning either from Maitighar or through Balkumari and the idea was stupid in real.


Hearing dogs bark, with all handicapped body, he stepped forward. No, nothing happened.
'Why is this fear within me?' He asked himself.
He could not get the answer, but he always had this belief...'If there exists God, there exists devil' and he was sincere follower of religion. His regular visits to temple signified it.' His second step tried to bring confidence within him. The bridge must be atleast hundred meters, and he probably had not covered even a single percent of it. His third step made him realize that he was walking late, playing a lot of things in mind. So he tried to walk quickly as he can. He now could feel that his heart was now beating fast, very fast. He closed his eyes and walked assuming by the time it will reach twenty, he will cross the bridge.


'One...Two....Three......Four.......Five........Six..........Seven'
'Ah! Seven is my lucky number, and I must open my eyes to see if I crossed the bridge'. Since there were tall walls on both the sides, there were no chances for him to fall down. So, he opened his eyes....and turned back. It was almost the middle of the bridge. On the right side, bit far he saw the spot where they burn dead peoples. There were lamps, but not burning. He was scared, he could hear the sound of Bagmati below. The cold wind awakened him from his imaginative world and he was refreshed. Maybe not enough to remove his fear. Turning back, there was a darkness, the street lamps went off. He ran as fast as he could and he was now to the next district. Lalitpur and the best part was he crossed the bridge! He turned back, nothing beside darkness was there. But he probably saw something white in above his head, a little back....he walked but it was following him, and he could feel it. He could not dare to turn back to see what it really was. Ten more minutes of his walk made him feel as if it was of ten hours.


Without giving any thought, he got inside his blanket and closed his eyes, but how could he sleep so easily?
'What was that fear for?' He began talking to himself.
'Okay, the cut off of the lights can be due to load shedding, but what was there behind me?'
'I wish I was with my dad and mom!'
He tried to focus on the pictures of Gods in his room, but could not focus thereby. He could neither sleep well, nor could he focus on anything. He still was having the feeling that the unknown object has seen his room and would come thereby. He looked at the door from bed, removing the blanket, it was locked. He tried to replace, but how could he? His heart was beating fast. He then remembered the bottle of Red Label, only if he had not completed entire bottle, he could have reduced the level of fear from him.
'I need to keep an emergency bottle.' He thought. He tried to divert his mind by remembering those times he had spent with his friends, but the fear still could not escape from the following fear of unknown object. He tried to close his eyes hard to fall asleep, but could not sleep, he again tried.
***
The door opened of its own. He was sure sometimes back that it was properly locked but how did it open? He seriously had no clue, something was visible from the bed itself. It was the person....white sari..Oh it was a lady! From the bottom he watched leg, no any nail polish, clean nails....just white sari....half blouse...clear hand....neck but no any lockets...and AMAZING!! There was no head...no hairs! Everything changed all of sudden, was the wind blowing? The lights were switched off,but the sparks appeared from where? No, not from sari....maybe from cloud number nine. The temperature turned out to be cold, and things began to react in strange way. Utensils were flying, cloths were dancing, gas burned itself, there was spoon from his table, that was nearby his bed that was dancing and he could hear the lady laughing. She was approaching, near to him.


'Please leave me....please leave me....' He wanted to say, but the voice could not come out. He was trying hard...PLEASEEEEEEE....he made it this time, but there was nothing, everything was normal, and the sunlight was there at his window. It was 6.30 and time for Kantipur Diary. He tried to listen what was on the news, he hurried for the office, but before leaving he found the spoon below the table. It should have fell down. This made him scared and he could not walk that way of Sankhamul bridge. So after almost two seventy degree, he reached to office.
***
Day work was full of tiredness, and he did not remember any portion of yesterday's event. Although he hurried to complete his today's work, it was already late. The time was far from the estimation, and this was the irritating...
'Fuck! Nothing is fine!!' He typed at first, backspaced again and wrote...
'Sir everything is fine, and nothing is wrong. Dont worry anything of here, if any problem arises, I will call you right then.' After typing this he clicked the send button and peeped to the right corner of the screen. The time was showing 12.22am in the morning and within few minutes, he came out to his gate. He could have asked driver to take him, but that would be funny and shameful if he would ask 'Why'. 'Why should I explain him my fear? I could have said, since it is late night, I want the service.'

'But I am already out of gate....I will surely do it tommorow.'

He did not realise that he already was moving in same yesterday's track. The dogs sleeping....and this time he heard of vehicle coming from back that lighted light on the loadshedding night. He looked back, it was police vehicle to Sankkhamul bridge. His legs were walking continiously...and he realised that he was walking in that fearful street only when he reached near Sandar Momo Pasal. He reached the place where they used to sell street foods and everyone used to buzz thereby. But everything was silent.


On the first step to this bridge, his heart bet fast. On his second step, he tried to comfort himself saying he was in illusion and was just a dream, maybe a night mare. On his third step, he heard his heart not satisfied with his answer itself. Fourth step made him feel that he was living in the scientific era that gave a short clip of Einstien and Edison. This made him strong, but again in fifth step he thought of souls that he heard of which used to keep moving around and he peeped to that corner where dead people used to get burned. Sixth step tried to console him explaining that there are gods who takes care of the people in earth, he was relaxed. But on the seventh step, he remembered the event that took place at his neighbour years back.

***
After the death of Yogesh's mother, since Yogesh didnt turn out able to keep the tradition of death ceremony, it was believed that the soul of Yogesh's mother was the main reason for the bangs at the terrace. Something unknown factor used to throw stones at his house and trouble him. It always used to happen when it was 8pm, that was the time when Yogesh's family used to have dinner. Since the trouble started getting issue, one night the peoples of the community tried to search if it was some people who was creating the trouble, but the problem never solved. Though people sat around two hundred meters, at every probable places through which stones could be thrown carrying their 'Emergency Lights' but the process went on. The amazing part was that although the stone created the sound, the stone was physical, but it never hurt anyone. After almost forty night they even called police for inspection, but nothing was found. Kamal used to take active participation there to catch the culprit.
Finally accepting the priest advise, when Yogesh donated golden tongue to the priest of the temple nearby and went through huge pooja followed by Saptaha, the problem was over and since then he was living a normal life.
***
'These stuffs seems funny unless one actually has to face it.' He again began talking to himself.
'Truly if there exists gods, there has to be devil.' By this time he had already forgot the number of steps. The lights were off and he was not at the middle of the bridge still.
'I need to do a pooja..'
'These ghosts are such a thing that unless one gets victim of it oneself, they never tend to believe it.' He was talking to himself. He was not in the mood to walk fast either, because the place where he actually feared from yesterday was yet to come.
'Garib lai kehi de deu' (Give something to poor).
The voice almost took him to heart attack. He turned nearby and saw a lady sitting with both her hands as if she was asking something. Kamal looked at her completely terrified, and he had to react soon. Although he thought of escaping from that place, but feared if the messed up lady cursed her. He inserted his right hand in the pocket and there appeared the ten rupees note. He dropped that note in her hand and tried to walk as fast as he could...he heard the lady's word from the back...'Vagwan le raksha garun (May God Bless You).
'What was she doing there? And at this time?'
'Is she a beggar, or the main reason for my fear?' He asked to himself.


'Why do they keep these bulbs in this CFL age?' He asked to himself to divert his mind to something else, but the sound of Bagmati flowing below and the pungent smell again brought to the track that he didnt want to go through, and the 'x' step created new fear again. He had somewhere heard in his early childhood days that fire would keep ghosts away, so he even smoked his last cigarette, but that could not reduce his level of fear either.
He wanted to run, but maybe that could be something to be ashamed of if the woman at the back see it. The appearance of owl in the group with strange sound was the key factor or the major thing that suddenly increased the level of heart beat within him and without giving a thought he ran same like yesterday. As he reached the ending corner of the bridge, he stopped for a short breath. Suddenly, his mind came with the incident of yesterday. That was the main place from where the unknown factor followed him at almost fifty degree from yesterday. He didnt thought of turning fifty degree back to see that fearful object and he had no intention to care for that object today. He did not realize the fact, but his legs were shivering. And unexpectedly, his cell phone dropped down. Luckily, nothing happened to his cell phone, but he unknowingly happened to turn fifty degree back and like yesterday, something was in the air flowing. Did that vision gave a relief? Yes, it actually did, because at some corner of heart he had the feeling that he wanted to see it. Because if there would not have been anything tonight over there, his fear would not be there anymore. But the presence of the same object thereby although gave him relief for that short time, it could not last long as his level of fear crossed the mark and heart beat's increment and speed could not be measured.


'It must be the same object that came in my dream yesterday.' He said to himself.
No longer could he tolerate this fear and he ran like anything. He only realized that he was running like a mad when two dogs ran after him.
'So the ghost is following me converting itself to a dog?' he thought and ran again for two reasons. First to reach room quickly, and second to be safe from the dog with huge hustle he finally entered into his gate and shut it hard. The dogs were barking hard and he could hear dogs barking from his room itself.


Kamal could not think any thing for five minutes. 00.58 was the time that he saw on his cell phone. He prepared a lemon tea and had with different things on his mind.
'I am never going to walk that way now!'
'Why was this ghost after me?'
'Why is this fear still in me?'
'Who could that lady be in the middle of the bridge?'
'Beggar? If so, why was she still awake at such late night?'
'Bhoot? If so, why didnt it hurt me?'
If it had no intention to hurt me why was it following me from the end of bridge? He saw again at his cell phone time 1.22. Just an hour back, everything was fine and now, Kamal was not sure if he will wake up tomorrow or not. He got inside his blanket that took a long time to warm although the CFL light was on.
***
After a long walk, he finally came to the point that divided the road on the right side he saw roses on the both sides, jasmines, lily, various fruits all both side of the road and on the left the road had cactus, old deadly trees on the both side of the road. Without giving a thought, he tried walking on the flowery side that was full of smell, but some strange voice kept alerting him saying it a 'WRONG WAY!'.
He still tried walking on the same way, and there again appeared 'WRONG WAY' voice and on his next step the gate appeared and then it got closed. He could no longer walk that way. So he was to the cactusy way that had deadly trees on the side. After walking for a while, there appeared strange sound and the level of darkness increased. His legs were still walking and there was no reason to stop somewhere around. He remembered how good could that way of flower be, but he was forced to walk this way. He was walking continuously, he could feel he was thirsty but there were no points giving the symptom of water. After hours of walk, he finally saw some known places, but in strange manners. He could not believe it, he wasnt now at Sankhamul bridge. Ohhh!! This made him scared, really scared, but he ha to walk. After he crossed the bridge he saw the same object that he had seen in the dram yesterday. A lady probably in a white dress, but without head. As he was searching for the head thereby, he saw the board 'WELCOME TO HELL'. His neck got dry, his breathing ability declined and the sound of lady laughing....she was following him on the right...on the left...back and even at front...She finally caught him, and....
***


KAAMMMMMAAAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
The loud voice with doorbell made his eyes open wide. 'Thank God that was a dream!' He said to himself. He saw his phone ringing and someone knocking the door. It was Abhi who was calling him.....
'Hello!'
'Sala, open the door, I have been out for almost half an hour!'
He opened the door, it was already a morning with sunlight over the window.
Abhi was trying to call him for almost half an hour, he realised this when saw those thirty eight missed calls on his cell hone.
'Hello!' Abhi said waving his hands at Kamal's face when Kamal realised that Abhi was trying to talk to him.
'Hey Kamal, what's wrong with you?' Abhi asked.
'Nothing, I just woke up so...let me wash my face hai.'
'Okay, go and wash your face then...'
He reached wash room and washed his face!
'What was that dream satisfying?'
'Flowery way, probably meant heaven and I was compelled to go to hell!'
'The bridge...something is wrong!'
SPLASH!!
He again washed his face! 'Something is really wrong, but I should not say it to Abhi and create a fun, Only I know it is something serious of and he would certainly not understand!'
SPLASH!!!
He now went into the room where Abhi was sitting
'So you are fresh now? Or still in dream Kumbakarna!!!'
'Yeah, am fresh, actually I slept late yesterday, so.......'
'Now I will never walk that way of Sankhamul! Huh! I'd rather walk longer distance' he was thinking himself.
'I asked you something, didnt you hear that?' Abhi said.
'No! What was that?'
'Uff..This pagal...I need some movies...so give me your laptop today, I will return you by midday.'
'Yeah sure...take it...Password is....'
'I know...PASSWORD...isnt it?'
'No! I changed it yesterday, it is HANUMAN.'
'You need to go office right, get ready, I have to reach New Baneshwor as well, I can give you free lift.'
'Okay'
Kamal got ready and before Abhi could scold more he appeared before Abhi as soon as he could and both went out of gate.
***
Abhi started his bike and Kamal sat on the back. He was still in his imaginary world of his dream, and by the time he got out of it , he realized that Abhi was taking him to his Office through same way of Sankhamul.
'Hey which way are we going?' He surprisingly asked.
'Through Sankhamul buddy....'
'Hey wait! wait!' He then realised that it would be stupid to explain Abhi the entire story, and maybe a topic of fun in next meeting as well. So he made an easy excuse saying something went into his eyes and he closed his eyes. He could feel everything, as soon as slope began he felt that it was just near bridge. All of sudden Abhi stopped his bike!
'Hey what happened?'
'Phone call....just wait.'
Abhi took out cell phone and started talking shopping the bike at one corner. Kamal looked around and within no time he found out that it was same place from where that unknown object followed him. He thought of not seeing above, but could not help when his brain suggested to view up as everyone were around.
Ten degree.....Twenty...Thirty....and his eyes again saw the same object. It was bright....and amazing...
It was a flag thereby!!
He again saw it....it was really a flag, kept at that height with the support of bamboo. He kept on staring at that piece of cloth....Abhi again started the bike and dropped him to his office. He could not concentrate on the jobs though...


He slept in the office for next two weeks unless his boss came. He found out the reasons for his fear that was really not so worthy of. He even went for a research and concluded with the fact that dreams are the outcome of subconscious mind. Things that get stored in subconscious mind can appear out at dream, and one hardly knows what remains at subconscious mind. He even went for his house and stayed for week there.


***
It has been months, but still he fears and hesitates walking that way, and still his heart shievers when someone talks of 'Sankhamul Bridge'.